Taking ‘faking it’ to a whole new level…
Accidentally lost your virginity to someone you didn’t like? Want to relive the slightly uncomfortable and awkward experience of snapping your hymen with someone else? Or perhaps, you lied in your mail order bride application and you need to revirginise yourself?
Brought to you by Gigimo, I present to you the Artifical Virginity Hymen.
Beautifully packed in a wooden box, your new boxliner only costs $14.90USD for two and is made from natural albumin. It’s supposedly easy to use, soluble and expandable to body heat, is non toxic to humans and has no side effects, is no pain to use and has no allergic reactions. Which means it’s not really like your old virginity at all, because there were definitely side effects to the last virginity I had. But don’t let that stop you!
No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable.
Fantastic.
via: jezebel.com
The Engrish is just the cherry on top of this massively creepy cake. :D
Uh… woah.
Do they make one for guys?
WOW – maybe I wasn’t her first after all :-O
Seej: I can see the commercial now:
“Buy what you’ve been spending most of your teenaged life trying to lose!”
@Jared – heh, we should patent it, quick!