Yesterday’s Buzz Bin Blog has a pretty interesting article about applying the rules from Dale Carnagie’s “How To Win Friends and Influence People” to social networking.  I think it’s of particular interest because the rules they lay out echo my own oft-repeated mantra of “treat conversation on the internet like you treat conversation in real life”.

Of course there’s a focus on marketing and conversation as marketing to both the blog entry (and the book itself) but as much as I sometimes get grumpy in the presence of a marketing-based approach to communications, the same rules that help you sell yourself and your ideas to others can also create better and more stable lines of communication — maximizing the bandwith of your “Friend” connections on various social networks.

Also?  I want “It’s 140 characters, not a debate club” on a goddamned t-shirt.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking
10.The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11.Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
12.If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13.Begin in a friendly way.
14.Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
15.Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16.Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17.Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
18.Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
19.Appeal to the nobler motives.
20.Dramatize your ideas.
21.Throw down a challenge.

Actions to Win: LinkedIn & Facebook

Create a group to engage thought leaders, interesting parties. Ask their opinions.

If logic/position is not factual, ask them how they came to that position.

Don’t say they’re wrong, yet state your facts. Ask them what they think.

Socratic method is a great way to engage. Sometimes writing out logic in an online group helps expose and address weaknesses.

Admit & amend wrongs

Challenge people to come up with answers.

Acknowledge and seriously weigh responses on any of these issues.

In areas of conflicting opinion, ask people to find a compromise.

Give credit to anyone who contributes to ideas used.

Actions to Win on Twitter

Engage in a dialogue on meaningful issues.

Remember, Twitter is public. Let folks save face.

Admit and amend wrongs.

Don’t flame, rather ask and state your dialogue.

Give people an out. It’s 140 characters, not a debate club.

Look for the positive result, and celebrate it. Laud your conversation partners