IKEA infected with ‘Elephantiasis virus’ (design fiction or news leaked from the future?)
“From an unknown location, I break into IKEA’s
computer server. In this nerve centre, the CAD files for
every IKEA product are stored and are downloaded
worldwide. By infecting the CAD files with the
‘Elephantiasis virus’ I have just designed, I can hack the
entire range of products. The virus causes random
deformities, like lumps, cracks and humps, which only
show up when the customer prints his product at home
with his 3D printer.”
Two weeks later Ikea fixes the problem.
There is a brief, but spirited, attempt to sell the affected lamps as valuable collectors’ items on eBay, which will be a minor boon to lazy journalists everywhere, until even the dimmest collector realizes that there is no way of distinguishing them from deliberately corrupted items.
A flurry of copycat hacks will eventually cause transhuman archeologists some minor consternation in their analysis of domestic items dating from the early 21st century or, as it will come to be termed, the penile period.